I would be amiss if I didn’t warn you, in the first sentence of this article, that this is not a review of Thor 2: The Dark World. If you absolutely need a review of that film than I apologize; I will not be writing one. The movie wasn’t good, or bad enough, to review, I think. I’ll give it a C. There. Now let’s move on to the real point of this article: Jimmy.
I now feel obligated to mention that his name might not have been Jimmy; Jimmy is simply the name I have bestowed upon the young man who sat in front of me in the theater because he looked like a Jimmy. I had never met this gentleman before in my life before last night so I know very little about him but I can tell you one thing definitively: he absolutely hated Thor 2. Every single line of dialogue spoken by any character in the film warranted one of three reactions from Jimmy: he either spread his arms out in a confused shrug with his mouth agape, vocally expressed his irritated confusion or freaking punched himself in the head! I’m not joking about this – during the dumber parts of the film (i.e. any scene without Tom Hiddleston/any scene focusing on Kat Denning) he would repeatedly slam his fist into his forehead harder than Chris Farley talking to Paul McCartney.
Spoiler: Thor doesn’t accidentally crush her with his hammer. Unfortunately.
At this time, I should mention that Jimmy was not alone. His friend, let’s call him Andrew, loved Jimmy’s criticism of the film. Now, he was less Jimmy’s friend and more his lackey, laughing at every head punch and looking at Jimmy with big teary eyes that begged for his approval whenever he worked up the courage to mutter a social commentary of his own. My personal favorite witty quip was the 8th time one of the two friends said the movie was cliché and then punch!
This kind of humor’s got nothing on the stylings of Jimmy and Andrew.
I found myself so entertained by my own personal Siskel and Ebert that I completely lost track of the movie I was watching. It was like sitting behind an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 if the cast of that show was replaced with Mac and Charlie from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
Which, now that I think of it, would be awesome.
At the end of the movie, as the girls in the audience screamed Tom Hiddleston’s name like they were at a Beatles’ concert in the sixties (or a Twilight movie yesterday), Jimmy announced loudly that he had not understood anything in that film and demanded that we agree with him. When his gaze fell on me I answered it with a simple nod as if to say: “You are a modern day prophet, good teacher. Please don’t kill me in the parking lot.”
And that was my experience seeing Thor 2: The Dark World. Now playing in theaters throughout the United States.
Sources: teaser-trailer.com, nydailynews.com, crapthatwillblowyourminds.com