I woke up today pretty excited about a decision I had made in bed the night before- the decision to be a blogger. I didn’t know what I would write about necessarily, just that I was going to strive to be as funny and topical as possible. My head swam with all kinds of innovative ideas. Would I focus on film? Comic books? Movies starring Shia LeBouf? I could hardly sleep the excitement was so intoxicating.
I leapt (sluggishly crawled) out of bed this morning (noon-ish) and ran (stumbled like a drunken vagrant) to the computer. I designed my blog, brainstormed about some possible topics with my housemate, and even wrote an “about” section to sum up what my site would focus on (something along the lines of “nothing” and “movies?”). I was just at that point where my first brilliant idea was beginning to bloom in my mind and I would soon chisel my name into the Blogosphere Hall of Fame when I received a disturbing text from a red-headed friend of mine.
“Barack Obama is doing a live chat on Reddit.”
You read that right: Barack Obama the President of the United States of America was doing an “ask me anything” on the site that claims to be the so-called “front page of the internet” (and, to be fair, totally is). Right before my eyes I saw all of my hopes and dreams for the day evaporate like a puddle of tepid water in the desert. Who in their right mind would visit some ridiculous blog about nothing and movies when the freaking President was chatting with the peasants online?! This guy splits his time between refraining from pressing the “kill everyone on the planet button” and hanging out with Spider-Man and on the one day I decide to do something great, he decides he needs all the attention!
This seriously happened in a comic book.
I know what you’re thinking, that I’m being a little over-dramatic, but this isn’t just about me, guys. Think of all the people who won the lottery today or who got engaged or who decided to come out of the closet and can’t make their announcement to their friends and family because Barack “attention whore” Obama just had to communicate with everyone on the internet. It’s just selfish, if you ask me. He says he wants to be there “for the people,” but then he goes and overshadows our blogs!
This is exactly why I am voting for Mitt Romney in a couple of months, dear readers. His total lack of knowledge where the internet is concerned guarantees that he will never meddle in the affairs of bloggers around the world.